Honesty Hour and Apologies

01:22 euphoria 0 Comments

Hello

So today was uhh fun, I guess... Minus the fact that we did a so called honesty hour for an hour (today) and two whole hours (yesterday) and well, it sucks.

Basically, we had to say things about the class in our perspective. Obviously, everyone hates our class. I am surprised that people are scared of me. Maybe it's because I brought my so called sisterly vibe to school.

Tears were shed in this three hours of honesty hour. The only thing I said was I'm sorry for everything. I know sorry isn't enough. I know it's probably too late to say it but I truly am sorry.

I've never realize how people felt like they don't belong here. It really opened my eyes. They feel unwanted, I guess. I feel guilty. Guilty for not actually caring about others. Guilty for not trying to make friends. Guilty. The guilt is killing me inside and out. If I had a chance to just hug every single one of them and say I'm fucking sorry, I would. Trust me, I would.

There are two things that people should know about me:
1. I suck at making new friends
2. I fucking suck at being a good friend

I don't know about number two but I just think that I'm a useless friend. Really. I can't make a person happy. I feel like I'm a goddamn burden to people. I keep telling people to stop feeling worthless when I feel worthless myself. Idk about you but sometimes I feel... alone. Maybe it's just me. No one cares so whatever.

Thanks for reading tho
xoxo